About ten years ago I wrote an article for my best-selling guidebook “The New Golden Door to Retirement and Living in Costa Rica” entitled “Dumb and Dumber.” I have included a new version below and added another character I call “Even Dumber.” The purpose of this article is to open men’s eyes to the possible problems of getting involved with “some” of the women here. Most guys don’t share the same fate but nevertheless it is important to be aware of the modus operandi here and save yourself a lot of money and heart ache. I was married to an incredible Costa Rican woman who unfortunately passed away. Thank god that during our marriage she always kept her family at bay and didn’t involve them in our personal life or have me support them.

Over the years I have encountered a lot of foreigners who end up not using common sense and get involved with people with whom they would probably never associate back home. This brings me to the story of “Dumb and Dumber.”

Dumb came to Costa Rica about 12 years ago from the United States, where he was a successful businessman. Almost upon arriving here, he became romantically involved with a woman of ill- repute. He was basically too lazy and busy getting drunk to find a quality mate. Over the course of his relationship, he lost about $300,000 because he entrusted his business dealings to his girlfriend. After splitting up with her and having to give her half of everything he owned because of their common-law situation, he went and got involved with another woman who will probably “take him to the cleaners” someday.

Dumber is even more stupid than Dumb. He came to the country as a millionaire. The first thing he did was get romantically involved with a woman of the night. Dumber also spent most of his time in bars, like Dumb. Consequently, when he broke up with his lady friend, after a few years together, he had to pay her about $50,000. He is now with another woman and most likely supporting her whole family. He will probably end up broke like Dumb. Neither Dumb nor Dumber speaks Spanish nor has made any effort to understand the locals and constantly refers to them in derogatory terms.

This brings me to ‘Even Dumber.” He came here many years ago to retire. He is bright and I am sure he has read about the two characters above according to what he once told me over a couple of beers. “Even Dumber” is a man of money who was a successful lawyer in Texas before retiring here. He had been married and divorced twice in the States and has a couple of grown children. Dumb lives near the beach and enjoys the outdoors. He still maintains a residence in the U.S. I give him credit because he has learned some Spanish and made an effort has tried to fit in with the locals unlike the two dufuses above.

About five years ago he met a curvaceous young Costa Rican woman with a couple of children from her previous relationship. Five months later he moved her and the kids in with him. The woman has been good to him and he has developed an excellent relationship with her children. The only problem is that “Even Dumber” is now supporting not only his girlfriend and her kids but his girlfriend’s parents and several other relatives, about ten people in all. Don’t forget if you hook up with a woman or marry her here you also get involved with the her whole family.

Older single men can be blinded by lust and a beautiful younger woman but have to remember that there is ALWAYS a price to pay…and it just may be exorbitant. Fortunately, this story has a fairly happy ending because this guy’s wife is honest, devoted and didn’t take him to the cleaners. He is just lucky to have deep pockets to support her extended family. Over the years I have heard many other stories with less happy endings.

I admit Even Dumber has a good heart and is a kind person but the “buck has to stop someplace.” Kindness is often synonymous with stupidity here. Americans are seen by many a winning lottery ticket and an upgrade in lifestyle. Unfortunately, many Americans are taken advantage of because of their good hearts. A lot of the locals take a lot more than they give in any relationship whether it be romance or in business.

The bottom line is that as foreigners we are guests in this beautiful country, but we should not go overboard with our generosity and let people take advantage of us. Unfortunately many Americans and Canadians “leave their brain” on the plane. I have seen this situation repeated over and over.