A couple of days ago I was at a watering hole in San José and just happened to overhear a conversation between two middle-age American men. It seems both were having serious marital problems with their Costa Rican wives. The younger of the two guys is involved in a court case and very upset. To make matters worse he has two children with the woman. He doesn’t know it, but the law here favors women, children and senior citizens over men. The guy seemed to think he has an advantage over the woman and will be victorious. I’ll bet anything that he is 100% wrong based on similar cases I have heard about during the 32 years that I have lived here.
The second gentleman who was involved in the conversation also has a marriage that is on the rocks. He made the mistake of putting his house and car in his wife’s name thus ensuring that he has virtually no chance of winning in a Costa Rican court of law. I heard him say that he was prepared to lose everything and wanted to leave the country as soon as possible.
I know of countless horror stories about men who have been in similar situations as the two guys above.
Most Costa Rican women are more devoted, warmer and more loving than their American counterparts. They really like American men because they are good providers. A man doesn’t even have to be rich to meet women since a $2,000 to $3,000 Social Security check translates into a millionaire’s pay in Costa Rica. In addition, many Costa Rican men are either too macho, abusive or have difficulty making ends meet which makes a gringo a “good catch.” I know many American and Canadian men who are happily married. However, some I have met have gone through hell when involved with women here.
Before becoming involved with a Costa Rican woman, you should realize many cultural differences can lead to all kinds of problems, especially if you do not speak Spanish fluently. I have seen so many disasters with people who try to create a relationship without a common language. If a Costa Rican woman is in your future, you are going to have to be able to communicate with her. Remember relationships are difficult even if you speak the same language. Even if a tica speaks some English, the nitty-gritty type of communication that a real relationship requires will definitely require some effort on your part. Men need to seriously consider studying Spanish if they want to have a successful relationship with a native Spanish speaker.
Finally, Latin women are more jealous and possessive than American women, and tend not to understand our ways unless they have lived in North America. This cultural difference can lead to problems down the line.
Here are some words of caution and tips on how to find a quality woman for single male retirees in order to minimize the chances of getting a bad apple..
- Contact reputable on-line dating services like Spanish Eyes.com. They screen their women.
- Check out Personal Ads in newspapers but be careful.
- Do church or volunteer work
- Take some university classes
- Try to met people through your friends.
- Remember older Americans are more vulnerable — “There is no fool like an old fool.” A young women is not going to be with you because of your good looks. She wants security, an upgraded lifestyle and most often more.
- Make sure you have had a vasectomy. I have heard countries stories about Costa Rican women getting pregnant to a gringo. This is an old ploy.
- Give any relationship time.